Immaculate Deception?
The First Child of Scientology has been conceived! Long live the future king!
It's all over the news that Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise are expecting a child. I don't know about the rest of you, but I seem to recall that during their whirlwind romance at the beginning of the summer, Katie Holmes said she planned on staying a virgin until marriage, and as far as I know, she and Cruise have not stepped before a priest or judge, or whoever it is that presides over a Scientology wedding.
Because celebrities with movies to push never lie or deceive their adoring public, the only plausible explanation for this miraculous pregnancy is that the ghost of L. Ron Hubbard has blessed us all by placing a child in Holmes' virginal womb.
Expect to see John Travolta, Giovanni Ribisi and Kirstie Alley on Cruise's doorstep bearing gifts for their new king.
I just hope that after the child is born, Holmes doesn't fall victim to postpartum depression.
posted by JTA at 10/05/2005 10:41:00 PM
2 Comments:
Katie Holmes a virgin until marriage? Who would believe that, other than the morons who believed Jessica Simpson stayed a virgin until she got married?
Remember that L. Ron's goons actively censored anything that was posted on the Internet and showed Scientology in a negative light. This was done for years. Not bad for a sketchy cult that believes all the negativity in the world stems from some galactic overlord imprisoning people in volcanoes several billion years ago.
10:35 AM, October 06, 2005
This is from a website dedicated to exposing Scientology as a con.
"According to L. Ron Hubbard's dogma, Scientologists believe it is perfectly within the ethical boundaries of their 'religion' to lie to non-members."
I'm surprised all politicians don't immediately sign up.
12:33 PM, October 06, 2005
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